Racing Deke the Geek

"Hell found me!" exclaimed Deke as he burst into Gail's Kitchen early that Friday morning.

Rhett and I looked at him over our stacks of pancakes with nonplussed expressions on our faces.

Hell found me—it was one of Deke's favorite expressions though neither Rhett nor I had ever heard another human being utter the phrase. Deke the geek we called him, and no one had ever deserved a moniker so richly. Deke was a tad over six feet tall but couldn't have weighed more than 130 pounds, even soaking wet from the morning dew, as he was presently.

He stood over us staring at our breakfast with a disapproving air. We were cotton scouts, killing time, waiting for the dew to dry before we got out in the fields to look for the pests who would dare to rob the good farmers of South Georgia of their rightful profits. I was on my third cup of coffee and my second stack of pancakes. Rhett and I always worked together and this was our morning ritual, shooting the bull and eating until our bellies were bursting. Then we'd take a token look at a couple of fields before heading home for lunch to sleep off our giant morning meal.

Deke the geek, on the other hand, took cotton scouting seriously. He waded into the wet, sticky fields as soon as it was daylight and checked every quadrant of every field with the utmost thoroughness. Then he would write a detailed report of his findings and deliver it personally to the farmer.

But he was annoying. His voice had an irritating whiny quality that we all took turns imitating behind his back.

"Y'all ought to be out there in the field by now," he scolded. "Not in here lollygaggin'."

"Sit down and shut up," said Rhett, gesturing to the third seat at our table.

Deke made a presentation of rolling his eyes and blowing out his cheeks in exasperation before doing as he was told. The most pathetic thing about him was that he wanted to fit in so badly. But he just couldn't overcome the overwhelming geekiness that defined his very existence.

He took off his Karate pesticide cap and put it on the table a little too close to my plate. The brim of the cap was soaked with sweat and coated with a layer of soil as well. Through its webbing, I made out a looper worm inching along the inside of it.

"Hey Deke," I said. "Looks like you brought a friend back from the field with you." I flipped the cap over, revealing the looper.

"Hell found me," Deke exclaimed. "Damn things was everywhere in that goddarned field. Eatin' them leaves like no tomorra!"

He grabbed the looper and squished it between his fingers, smearing the worm's green blood all over his hand in the process. Then he studied the hand in consternation, as if shocked by his own actions. Deke was always the excitable type. If I had known he was going to squish the poor thing, I would have kept my mouth shut.

Just then, the waitress came over. "You want some breakfast?" she asked Deke. I watched her spot his slime-covered hand. She couldn't prevent a look of mild revulsion from spreading across her face.

"He's havin' fresh squeezed worm juice," Rhett said. I fell out laughing and Deke shot me a murderous look. His face turned beet red and he hid his stained hand beneath the table.

"Just bring me some water," he said.

Deke rubbed the worm blood on his jeans and drank most of his water in one gulp. The boy had been working hard.

All three of us were nineteen. Rhett and I were both home for the summer after our freshman year in college. Deke liked to say he was trying to save money to get into Georgia Tech so he could be an "air-o-nautical engineer." But as far as we knew, he just piddled with car engines and over zealously scouted cotton.

"You shoulda seen the egg and small larva count over on that Johnson field," he said. "Over twenty egg and thirty small worms per hundred squares! I told Mr. Johnson he better get that dadburn crop duster in there to spray that shit or he wouldn't make half a bale this year. You know how he is, so damn stubborn 'bout spendin' a dollar or two, but he'll do like I say if he knows what's good for him."

"Damn tootin'," Rhett said, winking at me. I could tell from the twinkle in his eye that he was working up some scheme to antagonize poor ole' Deke. Rhett could be a real bully when he set his mind to it and Deke was his favorite target. But Deke was forever oblivious to this fact. He believed Rhett did no wrong.

"Deke," Rhett said. "You know Allison McNair?"

"Yeah, I know that ole' ho dog. What about her?"

Rhett knew full well that Deke knew the girl. He'd held an unrequited crush on her for as long as any of us could remember. Allison was not one to bestow her attentions on hopeless geeks like Deke, however. But he never gave up hope.

"You know Bobby here's bangin' her these days, don't you?"

I could see that the news hit Deke like a sledgehammer. To his credit, he tried to stay cool, but he couldn't keep his face from turning a deep shade of purple. He didn't dare to look at me.

"Bullshit," he said. "Quit fuckin' with me!"

"I ain't fuckin' with ya, Dekey. Ask the man himself."

He slowly turned his face to regard me with narrow, suspicious eyes.

Rhett's words were true. I had informed him of this new development in confidence less than an hour ago, naïvely trusting him not to tell Deke. I should have known better.

Allison McNair was a red-headed ball of fire with a body to die for. Last night, she'd nearly killed me with it. I would have died with a smile on my face. I had to give Rhett a great deal of the credit for making it happen. He was the woman killer of the two of us. He had gained intimate knowledge of more girls than I could count during the three years we'd been good buddies. He had movie star good looks with the personality to match and never failed to take full advantage of these gifts. He'd successfully charmed himself into Allison's good graces three months ago. He'd gotten what he was after and then moved on. Hurt and more than a little angered by this, she'd called me out of the blue to say her piece. I was a good listener and she'd been rewarding me for it ever since.

Rhett believed her interest in me was only an attempt to get revenge on him. He'd told me so earlier today and was quite amused by the notion. He was proud of me for taking advantage of the situation as well.

"Nothin' wrong with sloppy seconds," he'd assured me. "I give her my highest endorsement."

I had yukked it up and played along with it, but secretly fallen for her as hard as Deke. Her face and her body were in my mind constantly. Visions of our future together were already playing through my head. Allison was my drug and I was hopelessly addicted.

"Is it true?" Deke asked me in his shrill, trembling voice.

I looked at him hard before answering. His face was a maelstrom of emotion. He was hurt, angry, and bitter and I sensed he wanted to vent all of his rage onto me. He already resented me for being closer friends with Rhett than he, and now I'd robbed him of his only true love as well.

I decided honesty was the best policy.

"Listen, Deke," I said. "Yeah, I'm seeing Allison but it's not like Rhett's making it out to be. I'm not "banging her." I really care about her. She's a great girl and I understand how you feel about her."

"You don't understand shit!" he said so loudly that every face in the restaurant turned to stare in our direction. He was shaking with fury, his neck muscles bulging. "If you ever lay a dirty hand on her again, I'll fucking kill you. Do you understand? I will fucking kill you!"

I could only look at him, dumbfounded by his outburst. Deke raised a fist and would have punched me square in the nose if Rhett hadn't suddenly turned peacemaker.

He stepped between us and put a hand on Deke's shoulder. Rhett had only meant to goad ole' Deke on a bit, not incite him to his present state of fury. He was as shocked as I by Deke's behavior.

"You get your hands off me, Rhett," Deke said. "You're always protectin' that son of a bitch. Let me give him what he's got comin'."

"This ain't the time or the place," Rhett said. "Let's go outside and talk about this, ok?"

He put a firm arm around Deke's shoulder and walked him out the door. When they had left, I felt all the eyes of the restaurant's patrons boring into me. To them, I seemed the villain of the tale after all. I stood and left cash for our breakfast and a generous tip, and got out of there, hoping the whole episode was over.

But it wasn't. It might have been if my cell phone hadn't rung almost as soon as I'd stepped outside. Rhett was counseling Deke next to his truck, but Deke could see me. Of course he had no doubt of the caller's identity and was further infuriated because he viewed carrying a cell phone while scouting to be a sacrilege.

"Hey baby," she said. "I was just thinking about you. Working hard?"

From her voice, I could tell she was just waking up. My heart beat faster and Deke's issues suddenly faded into the background.

"Hardly workin' actually," I said. "You're sleepin' in, huh?"

"Yeah, guess I had a vigorous evening."

I smiled to myself, remembering. "Want to go out to the river with me tonight after I get off? We can go swimming out there, maybe camp out if you want."

"That sounds nice," she said.

"I'll kill that sorry son of a bitch!" Deke suddenly screeched at the top of his lungs. Apparently, Rhett's intermediary efforts were going badly.

"Is someone upset?" asked Allison, hearing him through the phone.

"Yeah," I sighed. "It's Deke. Rhett told him about us and he's gone ballistic."

"Rhett's such an ass!" she exclaimed, sounding angry herself. "He just likes to push people's buttons. And Deke...He's sweet, but he's too intense for me. And he's such a...a complete and total geek!"

I looked up to see that Deke had broken free from Rhett and was coming toward me with malice in his eyes.

"Hey baby, I gotta go. A geek on the rampage has got me in his sights. I'll see you tonight," I said.

"Ok, sweety. Don't let him hurt ya!" she said playfully.

If she'd seen the look in his eyes, she might not have been speaking so lightly about it.

"I won't," I said. "Bye, baby!"

I hung up the phone and turned to face Deke's wrath. I outweighed the boy by fifty pounds of solid muscle, but he was a raging rhino and I was only a little irked. My fists were balled up beside me, ready for action. But he stopped in front of me, still red-faced with fury, but looking marginally saner than a few moments before.

"Was that her?" he asked me.

"Yeah," I said. "She wanted me to tell you hey." I hoped the lie would soothe him.

"You ain't just bangin' her? You really like her?"

"Yeah, Deke, I do. She's a special girl."

"Damn right, she is. You better take care of her or I'll squish you like I done that worm in there, you hear me?"

"I hear ya, Deke."

He offered his hand and I shook it with a firm grip, relieved the mess was resolved.

Rhett came up beside us. "Oh, y'all are makin' up now," he said. I detected a note of disappointment in his voice.

"Yeah, we came to a resolution," I said.

"That's good," he said. "I thought y'all was goin' to throw down for a second there."

"Nah, me and Deke are cool."

"Yeah," Deke added without enthusiasm.

But Rhett didn't quite buy it.

"Deke, ain't you into runnin' long distances lately?" he asked.

"Yeah, I like to run in the evenin' two or three miles. It helps me work out the stress I build up out here."

"You know, Bobby here is a track star extraordinaire. He might could give you some tips."

"I don't need no tips. I don't run 'gainst people. I just run so I won't feel so high strung."

"You know Bobby finished second in the state in the mile? He ran it in four minutes 28 seconds. You reckon you can run that fast?"

"I might could," Deke said. "But I ain't got no reason to."

"Rhett," I chimed in. "What are you botherin' him about that for? I trained like crazy to run that time in the mile. He's just runnin' for recreational reasons."

"So, he couldn't beat you in a race," Rhett asked.

"No, of course not," I answered more emphatically than I'd intended. "Like I said, you gotta train seriously for a long time to run that fast."

Rhett grinned impishly. "Deke," he said. "You think you can beat Bobby in a race. He just said you cain't."

Much to my chagrin, I saw that Deke was simmering again. It didn't take much to rile him up after all. Rhett had baited me and I had swallowed it whole.

"That son of a bitch cain't outrun me," he said. "Just cause you run 'round a shiny track in front of a bunch of folks don't mean shit to me. I can outrun 'bout anybody if I take a notion to."

"Well shit," said Rhett. "Bobby, he done challenged you to a race it sounds like. "What you got to say 'bout it?"

"Rhett," I said, suddenly very frustrated. "That's ridiculous. You think we're goin' to take off racin' just because you're tryin' to instigate somethin'? Come on, man. We got work to do."

"So what you're sayin', Bobby, is that you can outrun Deke so easy, it ain't really worth the effort. You don't even take him serious. Is that what you're sayin' to me?"

I felt myself begin to become genuinely angry for the first time today. "What I'm sayin', Rhett, is that I trained for competition. Deke just runs to work off stress. There's a big difference."

"So you can outrun Deke by a country mile any time you take a notion. Is that right, Bobby?"

"Yes," I declared, exasperated. "That's right. I can outrun anybody in this town over a distance of a mile or longer. That's just a fact."

Rhett said nothing back right away but only gave me a joker's grin. He knew he was going to get what he wanted.

"You cain't outrun me, you arrogant bastard," Deke said. "We need to settle this shit now. I'm tired of you thinkin' you're better than everybody. You ain't nothin' to me. I shoulda kicked your ass earlier, but now I'll just run your dick in the ground. See how ya like them apples. Hell found me! I never seen such a prick as you in all my life!"

"Deke," I said. "You're an idiot."

He sneered at me and went to his rusted out '87 Ford Ranger and cranked it up.

"Rhett," he said. "You take me where we're racin' I'm gon show this SOB somethin' today."

"Alright," Rhett anwered. "I know just the place for it." He was grinning like a horse eating briars, triumph all over his face.

I followed him to his truck and climbed in. There was no way out. I would have to race poor Deke and humiliate him completely for no good reason at all.

Rhett got on his cell phone and started making calls. "Bobby and Deke are racin'," he told everyone he knew. "Meet us out on the dirt road by the old Snipes place. They been talkin' shit all mornin' and I figured out how they could settle it. Yeah, bring some beer and some tunes. We're gon make a big event out of it. 'Bout an hour from now, they'll be runnin'".

By the time we got there, he finally had run out of people to call. The dirt road by the Snipes place was a long and isolated stretch of sand and clay. Rhett determined we should start about a hundred yards from the highway and race all the way to the cotton field in the back; about three and a half miles.

I was almost too angry to speak, but I had to know one thing. "What you makin' such a big thing about this for?" I asked him.

He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. "Just for somethin' to do," I guess.

"You realize that eatin' three large stacks of syrup and pancakes with sausage and grits on the side ain't exactly the best pre-race meal for a three and a half mile run in a hundred degree heat don't you?"

"So you want to forfeit the race to Deke because you ate too much breakfast?"

"No," I sighed. I said nothing else.

Thirty minutes later, a crowd of about fifty people had gathered to watch the big race. Apparently, a lot of others were as desperate for "somethin' to do" as Rhett.

I changed into some shorts Rhett had stowed in his glove compartment. Deke, it appeared, was running in jeans, work boots and no shirt. His chest was milky white and without a hint of muscle tone. I began to stretch and put myself through my pre-race routine. I felt I should go through the motions of treating it like a real race just to help Deke save face to some small degree. The heat of the day was stifling and I had hopes Deke would collapse within a mile. Then the whole charade would be over and exposed for the farce it really was.

Rhett made himself the MC for the event and established the start and finish line for the race. He took it upon himself to help the on-lookers park and filled them in on the background of how the race came about. It was all about Allison McNair's honor, he said. Deke felt I had insulted her. He had wanted to fight me, but Rhett had convinced us to settle our differences in a more civilized way.

He announced the race would begin in five minutes, so Deke and I should start warming up.

Then Allison herself arrived. I nearly melted in lust, seeing her step out of her new Mustang her daddy had bought her only three weeks ago. She wore a pair of tight red shorts with milky white muscular looking legs spilling out of them and a Georgia Bulldog tank top that revealed just enough to make you yearn to see more. She stood just a little over five feet tall, but her body was flawless; dynamite in a small package. She had on a pair of shades and my Atlanta Braves cap that I must have left at her house the night before. She spotted me at the start line and blew me a kiss. Deke must have seen it but he didn't react for once. Though the gesture thrilled me, I didn't respond. A race demanded focus, even when the competition was likely less than stellar.

Soon, a crowd of other girls had gathered around Allison, buzzing with news and wanting to hear her reaction. She was like a queen bee surrounded by her subjects.

I glanced over at Deke. He was watching her too.

"Runners to the starting line!" Rhett announced. Rhett was eating up the attention, totally in his element. I perceived that most of the crowd was less than absorbed in the start of the race. Most were socializing and cracking open beers, thrilled to partake in this spontaneous party Rhett had managed to concoct in an hour's time.

Deke and I walked up to the line in the dirt Rhett had drawn with a stick. My stomach was still bloated from breakfast. I also hadn't run a lick in well over a month.

I felt Deke's eyes boring into me, as if we were boxers at a weigh in. I didn't bother to look back at him. My God, he was such an incredible geek.

"Alright, boys," Rhett said. "I want to see a good clean race. Let's see who the best man really is!"

"You ready to look at my ass for three fuckin' miles, you son of a bitch?" Deke said.

I said nothing.

"Alright, y'all ready to run?"

"Ready," Deke said.

"Ready," I added.

"Then here we go. Runners to your mark...get set... go!" Rhett announced, dropping his arms with a flourish. Deke took off like a shot, sprinting like a wild man, as if the race was meant to be run a hundred yards instead of three miles. I jogged at a nice, easy rhythm, somewhat relieved to discover Deke was as incompetent a runner as I had suspected. I expected to pass him in about half a mile and find him curled in a fetal position, groaning on the dusty road.

Minutes later though, I was still running and Deke was out of sight, presumably around a curve in the road far ahead of me. A stitch had formed in my side as well. I grit my teeth, trying not to acknowledge the pain. The sun beat off my head and it seemed all I could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Some track star I was.

Soon after sending us off, Rhett had driven past me in his pick-up truck toward the finish line. Now he came heading back toward me. A familiar face sat in the passenger side. He drove past me, made a u-turn in the road, and pulled beside me. I wasn't psycho jealous like Deke, but was less than thrilled to see my girlfriend riding around with Rhett while I tortured myself.

"Big Bobby! You better pick up the pace, man! Deke's kickin' your ass! That scrawny little runt can run! He's a good two-hundred yards up there I 'spect. You gon be eatin' some crow like you ain't never ate before, you don't start doin' somethin' quick. You gotta win by five minutes too or I'm gon owe Rusty fifty bucks. You look like you about to die out here. What'd you do? Eat too many a Gail's pancakes?"

I kept my head down and didn't answer, trying to blink the sweat out of my eyes.

"You best get your mind right, Bobby boy. That's all I got to say to ya! Me and Allison'll see ya at the finish line."

I glanced up at Allison to see how close she was sitting to Rhett. Thankfully, she was next to the window with her elbow hanging out.

"You can still win, baby!" she said to me. "I know you can do it!"

I nodded, comforted by her support. Rhett squealed his tires on the loose sand and drove off, kicking up a giant dust cloud in his wake. I ran around it as best I could, but still got a mouth full to choke on.

I rounded another curve and looked in front of me. The road stretched straight for several hundred yards here and I could see Deke ahead of me close to the point where the road curved again. He appeared to be moving much more slowly now, but I wasn't exactly setting a record pace myself. In fact, it didn't appear that I was even gaining on him.

For the first time, the idea that I might not win this race occurred to me. Being an excellent runner was a part of my identity. I was good at basketball. I was good at football, but there were plenty of others who were just as good as me. But when it came to running, I was the best. If I lost today to Deke the geek in front of all of my peers, the embarrassment would stay with me for the rest of my life. I couldn't allow that to happen. I had to win, stomach full of pancakes or not. I lowered my head, watching my feet struggle in front of me, listening to my ragged breathing. The pain of the stitch in my side increased with every step. The sun beat down on my shoulders and sweat continued to pour into my eyes.

I looked ahead and saw that Deke had rounded the curve and was out of sight again. This discouraged me as nothing else had. How could I beat a man I couldn't even see? I was going to lose today. There was nothing to be done for it. Deke the geek was the better runner, maybe even the better man. I dropped my head to look down at my shoe tops again and trudged on hopelessly.

Less than a hundred yards later, I stopped, bent over and gasping. My stomach was a riot of pain in the center of my body. As soon as I was still, gnats and flies swarmed about me as if I was a piece of rotten meat. I knew there was only one hope for me, one thing that might ease my pain. I knelt down beside the road and stuck my finger down my throat until I gagged and regurgitated all of Gail's pancakes onto the side of the road. The sweet taste of maple syrup still clung in my throat when the deed was done. My head felt as if it was literally on fire. The flies immediately descended on the thick pile of puke below me. I turned my head away, not wanting the sight of the mess to make me blow chunks again.

But as I stepped again into the road, the stitch in my side was gone. The barest breeze blew like a miracle against my fevered face and I began to run again. Now that I had purged the contents of my belly, I felt reborn. My feet began to glide along the road as I found my rhythm. I pushed myself to run faster and faster until I had the feeling that my legs flowed beneath me with a will of their own. I often told myself that I was truly born to run. Now that feeling washed over me in a rush. I no longer ran to catch Deke. I ran to see how fast I could run.

That was what I told myself at least. But a darker side of me knew better. I didn't mean to run as well as I possibly could and lose. I meant to win.

The curve Deke had rounded so long before me was turned at last and once more I could make out the figure of my opponent ahead of me. I was gaining on him now. There was no doubt of it. I estimated he must still have a hundred and fifty yard lead on me, but he was straining. Seeing him struggle ignited the predator in me. I felt a dash of adrenalin rush through my body and picked up my pace even more. The heat of the sun no longer mattered to me and I imagined fatigue to be an affliction suffered by lesser mortals. I pictured the winged sandals of Hermes strapped onto my feet rather than the worn out Nikes that were actually there. My legs propelled me forward like indefatigable pistons. Deke may as well have been a wounded antelope fleeing a ravenous lion.

Then I saw to my alarm that the race was nearly over. I was thirty yards from Deke. Deke was a hundred yards from the end of the road. The crowd had migrated there. I could just make out blaring country music and loud voices anticipating a dramatic finish. Rhett stood at the finish line with his hands on his hips, looking like a gunfighter.

I pushed myself to run even faster. My legs began to turn to jelly in spite of everything, but I wouldn't let them quit. Soon, Deke was ten yards in front of me. I saw him look back and strain with every ounce of effort in his soul to increase his speed. But suddenly I was beside him. I stole a glance at his face and saw that it was colored bright crimson, contorted with a horrible, twisted grimace of determination.

Twenty yards to go and I pulled ahead of him. For a moment, he caught me again and we ran stride for stride for five gut-wrenching steps, but then his body faltered at last and I was by him. Seeing all was lost, he flailed and collapsed in a heap less than five yards from the finish line. I ran on past Rhett, who stood marking the spot with outstretched arms, and collapsed in a heap myself. It was only then that I realized the crowd had been cheering at the top of their lungs as the race had reached its climax. Now they gathered around me shouting their congratulations and thrilled by the sheer competitiveness of the event they had witnessed.

I forced myself to my feet and stood with my hands on my knees, still breathing in mighty gulps. Allison embraced me from behind and buried her head against my sweating back.

"That was so awesome baby!" she said to me, hugging me tight.

I tried to respond, but was still too winded to speak. A line had gathered behind me, all waiting to declare their congratulations. I looked behind me and saw Deke still sprawled on the dirt, a foot away from the finish line. As I watched, he forced himself to his feet and stepped across the line. Then he assumed my identical position, his elbows on his knees, gasping for air. I was relieved to win the race, but this boy had given every ounce of his effort, something not one of those who observed would have been willing to do.

I forced myself to stand upright and pushed my way through the crowd to him. When I reached him, I offered my hand.

"Great race, Deke! Nobody else here has half the guts that you do," I said.

He eyed me suspiciously for a moment and then shook my hand as firmly as he was able.

"Thanks," he said.

Then Allison was beside me with her arm around my shoulders.

"Y'all look good together," he said.

I didn't know what to say to that so we just regarded each other for an awkward moment. Then he said, "We ought to run together sometime, maybe not quite like this though. I'm pooped!"

"Yeah, Deke. We could be training partners," I answered.

"Alright, sounds good. Well, I'm gon catch a ride back to my truck and go home and rest awhile. So I'll see you aroun'."

He nodded goodbye, turned and walked into the crowd. No one appeared to congratulate him on his effort or console him for his near loss. To them, he was still Deke the geek. But I would never call him that again. I had a new-found respect for the boy.

"Deke can be a nice guy sometimes," Allison said.

"Yeah, but I think he hates to lose," I answered.

Rhett materialized beside me and put an arm around my shoulder.

"Big Bobby!" he said. "You had me worried there, ya know it? And I had to shell out fifty bucks to Rusty. But hell, that was worth fifty bucks to see. Did you know that little bastard could run like that?"

"Nope," I answered.

*********************

The following Monday, Rhett and I pulled up outside the Collins cotton field at 7 AM sharp. Deke had just gotten there himself. He was taking a good overall visual of the field before he waded in to look for worms. He watched us pull up and looked surprised to see us.

"Hell found me," he said. "Shouldn't y'all be eatin' at Gail's this time of mornin'?"

"Nah," Rhett said. "'Bout time we started takin' this job a little more seriously. Them farmers depend on us, you know it?"

"Yeah," I added. "I've had enough a' them pancakes for awhile anyway."

The three of us stood in silence for a moment, watching the sun peek over the field and seeing the morning dew drip from the cotton stalks.

"I wouldn't wanna be nowhere else right now," Rhett said suddenly.

I felt the same way and figured Deke did too. Then we stepped into the field and went to work.