For the last several weeks I have noticed myself becoming increasingly irritated by the inane, innocuous, but ultimately innocent comments of my co-workers. I'm not sure if it's the stress of the job getting to me or just because I don't seem to be sleeping up to par on many nights, but I can't deny that the thirty minutes or so of our daily morning meeting have become increasingly tiresome and annoying to me for no particularly good reason. I've been working with basically the same individuals for three and a half years now, and there's really no reason for me to react any differently to them now than ever.
Let's take my over-reaction to Thursday morning's conversation for example...
My boss, stated she has taken a picture of the sun rising over the pond behind her house, and although she doesn't know about the spiritual beliefs of her staff, she finds the beauty of this scene to be infallible proof of God's existence. This sentiment was seconded by several others at the table who agreed that anyone who could not see God's presence in scenes of natural beauty must be spiritually blind or incredibly stupid. The psychiatrist, chimed in that Einstein himself came to believe in God through his scientific observations of the Universe, and a counselor added that some well-known philosopher had proven God's existence through the use of a Johari Window.
I added nothing to this conversation although I silently chafed at the thoughtlessness of their conclusions, but realized, even as I did so, that the comments they made were hardly controversial and would probably be endorsed by the majority, particularly in this true believing region. Why then did their comments ring so false and simple-minded to my ears? Do I really imagine that I have a higher intellect, a deeper understanding, or or a more profound insight into matters of God than the other people at the table?
I don't know. Probably not, but I do feel my views are at least as well thought out and reasoned as theirs. I chose not to engage in the conversation because I do not delude myself in thinking that my views might change anyone's opinion, and did not wish to bring unneeded negative attention to myself. But my blog is a safe place to do so (as long as I don't publicize it) and I feel compelled to write my views here:
I too have often felt moved by the wonders of natural beauty. Any time I look into a clear night sky to see the stars overhead and choose to place myself in an introspective mood, I feel a sense of mysticism and am moved to think of how wonderfully insignificant I am in comparison to the vastness of existence. Standing on a mountain top in Colorado looking over the tops of other snow-capped mountains in every direction for as far as I can see or standing at the edge of the ocean and looking out at the seemingly endless waters of the Atlantic, I am moved to feel the same way. But is the fact that this beauty exists, and that I as well as many others are moved by it proof of God's existence?
I don't believe it's a logical leap unless by God, you are referring to Him as a metaphor for all of the wonders that lie beyond human understanding. (This, I believe, is what Einstein had in mind when he referred to God.) It is certainly not proof of the existence of an anthropomorphic God who has created all of existence in order to please some humans who live on an otherwise insignificant world within an insignificant solar system located within an insignificant galaxy. It used to amaze me that the majority of people in the world are so short-sighted when thinking about these matters, but now I think I understand why religious feelings are so wide-spread, and so many people are so passionate about them. It is because religion is not at all based on logic or reason, but almost entirely on emotion. The Bible does not stand up as a historically accurate document in any objective test, yet many, many people take its words as Truth and would curse you and hate you for even questioning its authenticity. Why is that? It seems to be that it's because so many people place their very identity as well as all their hopes for eternal happiness on the words of this book. There's nothing reasonable or rational about it, but that doesn't matter. What matters is the passion--the emotion that fuels these beliefs. The fact that religious beliefs do not stand up to reason or even the slightest logical scrutiny is irrelevant.
Of course, if you choose not to believe in the literal truth of the God of the Bible or of Jesus for that matter, then where does that leave you as far as eternal questions are concerned? If you take out the options of Heaven and Hell when you die, then what happens to you? I don't know, nor does anyone else that I know of. I think it's most likely that conscious awareness of ourselves ceases when we die, but perhaps our energy, our essence, lives on in some form. In any event, there seems to be no practical reason to dwell on an event that is both inevitable and unknowable.
Does not believing in the Christian God nor any other man-invented one for that matter make you a person incapable of recognizing beauty or knowing right from wrong. Clearly, it does not. If that were true, wouldn't the prison I work in be full of Godless atheists? But it's not. In my time of working at the prison, I have rarely been in a place where more people professed a belief in God with such conviction. Believing in God or not has no bearing on the personal ethics we choose to exercise in our daily life, and I can't believe that anyone who tries to do good only out of fear of going to Hell if they do wrong is truly a moral person. In my experience extrinsic motivators are invariably weaker than intrinsic ones.
On the other hand, it does seem to me that pondering the spiritual side of life does add depth and character to a person's makeup, and that's why it's important to notice and feel essence of the spiritual beauty that exists all around us. It doesn't matter if you label the source of the wonder you feel as God or Nature. What we all long for is something transcendent that explains all the cosmic questions humans have been asking since the dawn of their existence. What's our purpose? What happens to us after we die? Why are we here at all? For that matter, why is there anything here when their seems to easily recognized purpose for any of it. The religions of the world seem to try to throw out nice, pat answers to satisfy their followers when the truth is there are no pat answers. There may in fact be no external answers at all, and our challenge is to live with that.
In the meantime, I should strive to be more in touch with my spiritual side, and not feel so cranky at the morning meetings.
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